Irony

Life is such an irony,

you keep on fighting those endless battles,

Be it guilt,anger,love or betrayal 

you fight to hold on

and then you fight to let go

Heart-the wild creature

Hearts are the wild creatures within us,
probably that is why our ribs are cages.

Detachment

Its a strange evening today,
an unusual evening I believe,
there is some detachment that I can feel all around me.
Detachment that seems to be making me feel hollow inside,
I dressed up for no one this evening,
I just felt like wearing the best gown in my wardrobe,
setting my hair in as perfect way as I could,
wore the best red heels I have ever had in my collection,
looking into that mirror applying that finest stroke of liner ,
the eyes are still red I whisper to myself.
There isn't anyone waiting tonight,
there isn't a horn I could hear outside home calling me,
there aren't any missed calls or waiting texts to be replied by me,
I can see the sun set from this window,
sipping his favourite wine I can recall all the words he said while leaving.
I recall that indifference in his eyes which I saw that night,
that night where my journey ended,
the journey called love.
This evening has that dark impact,
this sunset makes me feel detachment all over,
I have forgotten to smile from within,
I probably have forgotten to wake up with non-swelled up eyes,
I look perfect this evening but there isn't any perfection I feel inside.
Its a beautiful evening,
yet I just feel detachment all around,
probably I have detached from all possible sources of affection and happiness.
Its a strange evening,
an unusual one I believe.
  *p.s I saw this picture randomly somewhere and there were heaps of thoughts that came rushing into my mind seeing this,I wrote what ever my heart said :-) Take care everyone :-) *love*

Random-3

The crushing helplessness,
the dark night,
I don't know if this battle is even worth the fight.

Never ending insecurities of life

Insecurities of life,
they seem to be never ending,
You tend to loose yourself in this chase of life,
probably its a human nature,
How far you gonna go,
where will this journey end,
you can't predict,
yes you can make heaps of assumptions and perceptions,
but at the end of the day where do loose yourself in these unending battles?
I have no answers for these never ending hopeless questions and nor Do I have the strength to chase things any more,
I probably have learnt that sometimes let go is the only option you have,
not everything can be as per your expectations nor can everyone make you happy.
Everyone is going to hurt you sooner or later,
you just got to trace the ones who are worth it,
Not everything is meant to make sense but someday everything will make perfect sense,
someday even imperfect logics will sound perfect
and someday those shattered bits would give meaning to a selfless unconditional love,purity and a life that would make you feel solace.

Random-II

May be the home I  found in the sadness and pain which you caused was better than staying all alone without you,
Somehow I am that addicted to you.
 *p.s You can say silly & insane stuff when you realize that falling out of love is the only option you have. #Irony#

Random

Bidding goodbyes has been never easy,
never was,never will be
You just tend to accept the pain as a part of your life,
and end up smiling with those wet eyes saying "some day I'l be okay...

                                                                   *p.s I just typed what my heart felt,take care people :)

Suffocated

In the shackles of love and emotional attachments I feel I am nowhere today,
each and every phase has just let me down,
how long do I need to have patience,
how long am I expected to keep calm and wait for the storm of these sufferings to end,
How terrible it is for me to deal with the suffocation I am going through,feels like I am dying within,
The shackles of love have made me weak...weak to such an extent that I can neither trace my ways nor can I figure out my destinations,
I just know nothing is fine....just nothing feels right,
I feel I am nowhere,I can't feel happiness nor I can feel positivity,
all I can feel is an endless n incurable form of pain inside which seems to have been going since forever,
I need the feel of breaking these shackles of pain but every time I try I just fail,
This suffocation is leading me to death....the death which is making me numb with each new moment of life....

The dilemma

Somewhere between I want to talk to you and I want to get over you,
I am still stuck...
Stuck with the fact that may be you will realize,
may be you will fear loosing me too.
May be you will feel the need of this relationship we had,
But at the end of the day I am stuck..
Stuck because I know the doors I have been knocking...
Responses and affection from behind these doors died long ago...
May be the "I want to get over you"  scenario will overpower the "I want to talk to you" scenario soon someday....
      *p.s Not always you can act practically and logically strong...sometimes it's the heart that can overpower almost every right and logical thing.

Grow up!!

When will people grow up and start thinking things normally without their narrow minded approach?
A guy speaking abusive words like "what the fuck" is considered as cool while a girl doing the same is termed a cheap and non-ethical female.
A guy roaming in a group late night is considered as stud and a girl doing the same is named as "uncultured'
A guy flirting with plenty of  females at a time is named as "DUDE" while a girl doing the same is termed as "cheap
Why are there so many differences?
Why do people always feel a guy & a girl can never be just friend?
isn't it just okay to accept the fact that two people who aren't dating can be close enough to share everything?
Can't two people who are mere close amazing buddies talk everything from movies to music..from latest trends to freaking shitty gossips...from stupid pranks to may be even Sex?
Its 21st century..people act so cool n pretend to be very broad-minded but are they really that cool?
Are they really accepting the changing world or are these mere pretentious acts?
It feels awful when I see people uttering mere shit about females who are frank or are open & bold enough to discuss anything.
It hurts to see how disgustingly few men can utter obligatory words for females...why?
just because she trusted you?
just because she used the word Sex in front of you?
Just because she shared some stupid funny non-veg jokes with you?
Why is there so much issue about what to talk,when to talk & with whom to talk?
Is it so important to date a guy before uttering the word sex or 
porn?
Or is it so necessary to date a guy before having a chat at 3 am in the morning?
If a girl is sharing all the small bits of her life with a guy ...is it necessary that the two of them have a love affair?
I mean why??? why can't we grow up enough to deal with the aspect of a male female friendship with no bf gf factor :/ 
Why can't guys stop taking females wrong ?
If a guy can be cool n broad minded 
can't a girl be the same?
Can't a female talk her heart out to a male by considering him as a good close friend?
If still the narrow approach prevails I believe guys should stop  expecting frank and extrovert females in their lives
Because at the end of the day each female who trusted a guy or may be talked things in a funny childish manner is gonna be a hot topic of gossip among a group of guys!!
It truly hurts and feels shameful to face such scenarios....
I feel shattered within when girls who are bold are termed as "easily achievable", "cheap", "slut" 
Grow up people...think with broad perspectives...
Respect every human being for what they are instead of making cheap perceptions about them and bringing disgrace to the affection,care,trust and most importantly to the thing called bond.
 * p.s - I wrote this post with tears in my eyes and also a lot of anger because I feel highly disappointed with what all people out their can manage to speak about females without even thinking once how bad and shameful it is on their part to break the trust and pass lewd comments about females just  because of small pity reasons like non veg messages,naughty forwards etc.

Till the last breath..

Few scars never heal,
no matter how hard you try.
You move on,get busy,smile,talk...communicate to heaps of people
but then there is always an emptiness inside the heart..
The scars which make you  feel the pain of past...
past that once mattered to the most.
The life which was your dream once when comes to an end..a part of you dies with the shattering of those dreams.
You die within but life keeps on moving unfortunately,
Yes,people come and go but when soul dies...it takes a lot of courage to make it alive...
Not always you begin to dream again,
not always your scars heal,
few scars just stay...stay till the time you die...till the last breath......

Split ends free with TRESemme'

My long and wavy hair tied in a neat braid,
A braid with shiny n lustrous hair,simply a split end free braid.
When people used to turn back n look at me twice,
Asking me how do you manage to have a such a split end free braid?
Smiling at them feeling proud to have such a braid,
Thank you mom for giving that pamper to my hair that helped me get this beautiful braid :)
It has been three years since the school life did end,
College life began with awesome new trends,
pony,half tied,open hair or braids,
But one thing is yet the same,
Ma long wavy hair tied up in long split end free braid,
New charming n conditioned hair look is my hair look of everyday :)
Yet people turn astound looking at me,wondering of how perfect is her braid,
Thanks to the new TRESEMME' SPLIT END REMEDY
You helped me stay split end free forever with the forever charming look :)
"When your hair splits up at the ends,the first thought that comes your mind is to get a haircut,but not any more !
TRESEMME'  has the perfect solution to keep your hair beautiful till the ends".

 *P.S This is my entry for TRESEMME split end remedy contest organised by INDIBLOGGER based on my experience with this amazingly miraculous split end free remedy brought to you by TRESEMME' .

Let go...

Life is too short to live with regrets,
someone somewhere said that long ago!
And I guess I can feel the depth of this quote today..
You can't chase people who are meant to leave your life,
all you are born to do is to chase your dreams.
Dreams that would never fade no matter how adverse the times get,
some people do enter our lives but that doesn't mean their presence has a forever trade mark.
You learn lessons..you get hurt..you shed tears..
but then there has to be some end to the darkness of life..
There has to be a time when finally you reach your saturation point..
and that's when you become the" real you"
Everyone lives phases of life for someone ...part of life you call it..love,attachments,care,affection..
All these are part of life aren't they?
But then their does lie an individuality in each bond of life.
You can give up everything in a relationship..but self respect? 
A true bond will never ever take you to a stage where your self respect is at stake.
So when that saturation point comes in your life...it's the time to say "pack up"
How difficult and painful it can be to quit relationships...how much it can effect you in near future is something you can't judge..all you can do is looking at the brighter side of the scenario..
You learn to let go things..you learn to let go people..and most of all you learn to let go the past
"IF you are not happy from within.you cannot keep someone else happy too"
Unconditional love..it exists ,but then there lies the thing called expectations too...
For me expectations have been always from people I have considered special..
You don't expect from strangers..do you?
It is Just you who  knows how much painful it is to let go...but then you know its for the betterment isn't it?
Bad times don't stay forever...good times come too !
God isn't cruel..he is a mere tester..he tests your patience!
With time we all grow up...we grow mature rather..
Life is too short to chase people who don't value you,somewhere,someone does know your real worth...and that someone is on his/her way :)
Life isn't about the final destination..it is about the journey ..the journey you got to cherish..
Happiness,sadness,love,hate,desires,ambitions,ups and downs,traumas and joys,
Its all a mix :) The mix you can never judge or predict..all you can do is accept it gracefully :)
Not all flavours can be bitter after all..sweetness is destined to come some or the other day :)

  *p.s It takes huge courage to speak,understand and follow the logic called 'LET GO",but time is the best healer..you forgive,you trust,you get ditched,you trust again...the life cycle continues..
you can't stop forever after all..let go..live the phase!!! Live the sadness,it taught you and gave you thing called sensitivity,cherish happiness,it made you realize the charm of life,appreciate people who left,they made you stronger,love people who put an effort to make you feel special :) :)

HAPPINESS IS EXPENSIVE

I often find people around me always giving me heaps of suggestions and philosophical one liners about happiness,
some of  them  feel staying sad is my hobby maybe,
You can't really explain to the outer world how the inner sadness can actually cause a complete mental destruction,
People might be there to listen up your problems ,your issues,
but at the end it's only YOU alone who has to deal with the mess of life.
I grew up...I grew mature rather!
How sick sadness can make you make you feel...how disastrous the unhappiness in life can be!
You don't necessarily need heaps of reasons to be happy, but then you need at least one ? 
SOMETIMES things aren't wrong  but then they aren't right too.....may be not right enough to make you happy!!!
Happiness seems so expensive at times,
Happiness seems to be a prolonged hunger...the acute starvation ...
I haven't had my share of happiness till now may be....may be its too late to feel the thing called happiness....or may be my time is yet to begin..
At the end I would say just one thing "Happiness seems to be a myth at times"
 
 

I died within...you made me die..

You and me have come to an end
It has been long since I realized the fact we won't last,
Not that I din't know we were meant to end,
but may be I always tried to keep myself in the false hopes of thing called LOVE,
Post trauma of this breakup has been all the way more devastating although..
Not that I wasn't prepared for it..
but this much pain? ugghh
I feel pity for myself,
Last 5 years have been painful..being with you wasn't full of happiness but yet I found a home in that sadness itself!
I haven't have had the best of prince princess love stories with ya..nor i ever expected much,
But what about the endless efforts that I kept making for this bond of ours'
Life is moving at its fast pace..I am trying to move n catch up too..
But where am I?
Am I moving with it?or am I still stuck with those memories!!
People,friends,strangers all together are trying to make me move on..
I talk to unnecessary people just to divert maslf from the thought of depression!!!
Sooner or later we both will move on..but where is the real me?
Has he ever realized the essence of true me..the real me that has lost!!
He can see me smiling in pictures..he can see me with new friends..
But has he ever realized how pain lies inside me?
Has he ever tried to look inside the depth n see how suffocated I am...
Anyways......
He blames me for everything today..He feels I m not effected..
Can't he ever re-read our old conversations where I literally have begged him for his presence in ma life..
Life won't stop for the regrets I have..nor will it take me back to the past to make corrections!
But what about ma soul's death?
I have died within..I might be in a new life with the passage of time..But will I ever be able to give ma real self to someone again?
One broken relationship can suffocate you to death inside..But why few people can never realize that pain!!
I have suffered for you,with you..
But the pain is endless...your thankless attitude makes it worse!
I don't expect you to say sorry..but I at least expect you to feel the guilt ....The guilt of devastation you have caused....
In the end I have just one thing to say...I loved you like one else would love you ever!! Good luck!Have a great life!

 *p.s It's very important to value the relationships that are present in your life! Stop taking your loved ones for granted..The pain you cause for them is not bearable..believe me! take care all!