Dad

                                                      Dad

Writing after almost 3 years here on my blog. Life had its own struggles. I was fighting the endless battles. Today's post is about the man I loved the most.. will ever love the most actually- Dad. It has been 6 months since I lost him but the pain is so fresh, always will be. Honestly, when I lost him, I had endless questions. Questions to ask from God, from people around me, from people who loved my dad, from people who pretended to care. I mean I was lost and high on this concept of losing people we love in a fraction of second? He knew I wouldn't be able to able to see him go, so he made sure I took a sheet on my face and those 2 seconds, trust me when I say in those 2 seconds, he left. I don't know what made me so uncomfortable that I decided to take off the sheet I had used for covering my face an decided to check upon him one again. He wasn't there. His hand was still in my hand but I couldn't sense his breath....he didn't answer me...he didn't mingle his fingers in mine....he left me alone.... 

Why do we always lose people we love the most so soon? No one in this lifetime will ever be able to fill this void. He wasn't just my dad, he was my happy pill, my inspiration, my role model, my strength, my forever money bank who never said no. 

He was in immense pain.....I just hope he is in better place now where there is no pain and grief. I miss you dad...you were an exceptional human being who made me believe in myself even in the worst times of life. Be around me always....you are needed...always will be...

I love you, always have, always will. 

~Palak Dua

@castle of words

Does this concept called unlove exists?

Some scars never heal I once wrote,
but somehow I still tried to make myself outgrow of this feeling called love I had for this man I was (am) in love with.
You know what?
There have been times when I actually find myself reading about stuff like moving on, let go, outgrowing people and love.
Typing stuff related to it on google and reading about silly tips and ways.
Sometimes I wonder does this concept called unlove exists? 
Can we ever unlove someone we loved so much once upon a time?
I have spent a really long time thinking about this, trust me. YEARS PROBABLY.
I am still clueless about it though.
May be I love in a way that's too hard to digest for my generation people, but then that's how I am.
There aren't any medians for me when it comes to loving some one.
I don't get this loving but not committing kinda relationships.
Are we really so shallow? That we can't stand by people we once claimed were everything to us.
Do we ever unlove people we loved once?
Someone told me once, leave it on time, you will forget eventually.
But you know what ? There's no amount of time that seems to have any impact on me.
I still stand on the the same path, fighting with myself every single day that I still love but I am not supposed to love anymore.
I need to UN-LOVE this man, I have to.
I wish I will.

P.S It's been months, I've been blogging quite less. Time issues. But today writing after such a long time is making me feel content.
Take care people. 

Mask called smile

Posting after a very long time. Have been really busy with stuff. 

But as they say, it's never too late :) 

Cheers people. Take care

Terrified

You can't keep fighting

~Heart~

You were my everything

*p.s The spelling of believed is wrong :D Typing error haha.

Take care people.Cheers :)